понедельник, 20 октября 2008 г.

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In the Bhagavad GIta, Krishna describes to Arjuna ... The places you will find god and the nature of the supreme in a discriptive list. It is a very powerful verse.


I have taken a portion of this, and transformed into a poem. I like to think of these things as the guideposts and hooks upon which to hang your understanding of the supreme. Seeing divine nature in so many aspects, is very much the Buddha's view of the world.


Krishna Poem :


The Celestial Horse


and the ocean.


The mantra "aum"


and the himalayas.


The cosmic bird


and the mystic elephant.


Music itself


and the wind and the ganges.


The sacred cow


and a wish granting tree.


The perfect sage


and the monarch.


The begining, middle and end.


Logic and endless time.


Victory and goodness.


Death and the origin of the future.


Wisdom,


and silence itself.




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I HATE BEING HOME SICK. HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.

I always think, yeah, I really need a day off from school, thatapos;d be nice....Then when I get one itapos;s like

CRAP THEREapos;S NOTHING TO DOOOOOOOO

Srsly.� I look at the clock and go, "Iapos;d be in second period right now," or "Iapos;d be eating lunch with R D."

(Oh, and in case youapos;re interested, Iapos;d be in homeroom right now. And my homeroom? I ACTUALLY LIKE IT.)

I should probably eat something, but Iapos;m home because of my damn stomach, but Iapos;m hungry too. If I eat something it might not stay down...
(There are ten minutes left in homeroom, fyi.)

I have nothing I want to read. I lost my book that I liked and was half way through at school somewhere :( And the one I really wanna read is written on the back cover, and I forget the authors name, but itapos;s called Smashed: of a Drunken Girlhood.

What was it? Memoirs? Tales? Eh. What. Ever. My mind isnapos;t working right.
(Five minutes.)

This is a pretty boring post. Iapos;m really just ranting. But itapos;s either that or...or nothing. Thereapos;s nothing to do but rant about how thereapos;s nothing to do. I didnapos;t have any homework over the weekend (thank God), and my roomapos;s clean now (for the most part). I could just keep typing to keep my fingers warm (damn you mother and your apos;we-donapos;t-need-to-turn-the-heat-onapos; attitude). Or work on my stories. I have like five I need to finish. Yeah. I could do that. Thatapos;ll distract me.

Homeroomapos;s over.



...

Iapos;m gonna go watch Sweeny Todd.


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воскресенье, 19 октября 2008 г.

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After the trip, went back to tampines to have our lunch. Lunch was delicious and nice, especially the teh tarik.� Went to tampines mall to wait for boonhingapos;s gang. When they reaches, aaronapos;s stead ( little bull ) had to go home. As the day had changes to night. Had some talking, meaningful as all of us talks together, strengthened our bond within each other. Went to weimingapos;s house, some had not joined us. However, we still have enough people to stay us awake.

We had been playing cards from the past 5 to 8 years. And we are bored playing cards in weimingapos;s house. Starting we played cheat, followed by big or small. Lastly, heart attack. Feeling bored and drowsy, we all need some entertainment to awake us up. A new game was introduced, " the hanger". It goes like this, players can be any number just that the deck must be enough for the players. Each players are awarded with 3 cards. Like the same, J, Q, K, equals the value 10. Ace would be the value of 1. Now the interesting part is here, the playerapos;s card must be calculate by adding all together. However, the rule is all value of 10 is converted to 0. Which means that example, i got cards of K, A, 8. The points of the cards for this would be 9. K = 10, means that 10 + 8 +1 = 19, however the 10 is converted to 0. Thus, the value would be 9 +�0 = 9. Now, how to see who win or lose. The player that get the lowest in value shall�get the forfeit. The player that get the highest in value shall be the one that punish the forfeit to the loser. The forfeit is the winner will use a hanger to hit the loserapos;s butt. This may sound not that pain to you, but its make us have the phobia to play this game.



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суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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I donapos;t understand some people...

my friend i told her about me purging and restricting a while ago when it was really getting crazy.

but last night when i was wasted i wanted food and she wouldnapos;t let me go anywhere and i was yelling at her "Shit I havenapos;t eaten all day let me eat"

and it made me realize how much of a love hate relationship i have with my body and myself because she replied back "Iapos;m not letting you eat because you are just going to feel bad about yourself in the morning"

Then she yelled at me this morning for having a mini reeseapos;s cup. But then she cooked me breakfast.... 2 pancakes and eggs about 400 cals....what i should be having FOR THE DAY. Include the reeseapos;s and the gatorade i am about to chug and itapos;s about 500.

im giving myself 800 today. Which means if my other friends actually invites me out to eat with his parents, iapos;m only going to be able to eat a salad.

tomorrow will be a good day because paul is here and he lets me do what i want when it comes to eating.

ugh i DO NOT want to go to the gym, but i should finish cleaning up my stank apt. And go to the gym. Im shooting to get this all down by 3 and be out the door by 315 and there at 325
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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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Prompt: Youapos;ve been in this program for over a month now. Whatapos;s stood out for you most so far, and why? When are you happiest, and why?

My Aresty research experience has been both challenging and rewarding thus far.� As a sophomore, Irsquo;m getting used to a much heavier academic workload, so time management has stood out as a challenge, as itrsquo;s difficult to balance academics with research.� Irsquo;m starting to get the hang of it, though.� Another, more positive thing that has stood out about the program is the fact that Irsquo;ve found myself mentally transcribing conversations I hear around me.� Irsquo;ve become much more comfortable with the transcription process, and find it exciting.� Irsquo;d say at this point Irsquo;m happiest when I figure out how to properly represent a difficult, confusing or complicated passage of video.�
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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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Gah. I am so tired itapos;s... Actually funny. Updating for first time on a phone, my phone to be exact (oh glorious, glorious lack of internet connection - will probably update from my cell alot). Long day but a good one. Heading home after a trip to the fianceapos;s grandparents and having my stomach filled to the brim with goodies. Time for sleep and cuddles. Two more days until weekend And then six before I see my mom for the first time in months... Squee

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Ok, so after my post last night i did wait until 730 to have some soup which was 140 cals.� SO HORRAY FOR ME� My bf then came home and he was such a sweetheart and brought me my fav icecream.� I tried to eat it but luckily he brought me a plastic spoon and it did not work so well becaue the icecream was so frozen. SO i only manged to eat a tablespoon or so.

Now onto today:
�140 kashi granola bar

I did cardio for 70 minutes today which equaled to about 5 miles.� I had to walk for the most part because my knee is killing me.� I am also in first place for my distance challenge by 4 miles.
I burned 540 cals today.� I work tonight so that will keep me distracted from food.� I plan to eat another granola bar before work then another on break w/ a diet coke.

MY GOAL:���� 135--Oct. 22
���������������������� 130--Oct.29
Also-------------have awesome ABS by Holloween
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среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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I finally got around to doing my shopping for the next week or so. I stuck to my budget for shopping and only spent �20.70 on all my food which includes a bunch of frozen stuff which is going to last me a while, plus 3kg of rice and a couple of bags of pasta and that just about reached �4 overall in the price of my shopping. I think Iapos;ll be able to last on my budget I do believe.

Anyway, today, I think will be quite quiet and a bit dull. There isnapos;t much around the place that needs doing. I have my window open to get some air in the place and thatapos;s literally the highlight of sitting in my bedroom doing nothing special.
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For the past couple of weeks I�have been watching the leaves slowly change into their firery colors and canapos;t help but get excited about the winter months. I donapos;t know what it is about the cooler weather that I�love so much... Outside of the fact that itapos;s just that little bit closer to swishing down the slopes in that white stuff. I have been in dire need of change. Iapos;ve done everything thing I�can to keep myself satisfied and occupied lately. Iapos;ve rearranged the rooms, cut my hair.... Whatever else and still feel unfullfilled. It wasnapos;t till recently that I sat down with someone and talked about our plans for the next couple of years. He mentioned the idea of moving out west himself, to the Rockies to be more specific. I told him I�wasnapos;t sure where I wanted to go but I want to leave here before I�ended up rooting myself down and never leaving. Iapos;ve had some time to sit down and turn over ideas in my head. Hours of surffing the web looking at different areas that Iapos;ve been interested in the past. They have ranged from north east all the way to Japan. If anything though, I�know now that I want to move out west. The Rockies at that. There is cooler weather, mountains, and skiing. What more can I�really ask for there? Not as far away as Japan which would be good for family sake... Unless they decide to move to Japan themselves. And seeing as that I�originally wanted to go out west for school, itapos;s only fair that I give myself the opportunity to move out there and experience it all now. Maybe I just feel the need to go out there simply cause Brandon was thinking about it himself. But one thing is for certain, I�need a change and a big one. Who knows, maybe I�do need to follow this boy out west.


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